ONLY A MOTHER'S LOVE
by DEESWAR
Summary: Erica returns from rehab to deal with a new problem, her oldest daughter.
1. Default Chapter

This story begins when Erica returns from rehab.

"Mom your back", Bianca says as she enters Jack's loft. "How are you, you look well, I missed

you mom.". Erica unsure whether to approach Bianca or not waits. She is still not sure if Bianca

is still angry with her. Her fears are soon dispelled as Bianca comes over and gives her a hug.

Erica tells Jack that she will talk to him later, she wants to unpack and catch up with Bianca.. She

invites him to breakfast tomorrow, with the promise of enjoying the day together.

"Erica I will be there first thing in the morning to start our day off", Jack laughs. "Please not to

early you know I need my beauty sleep" Jack kisses her good-bye and says "Promise".

Erica says "sit down I will go put on a pot of tea", Bianca tries to settle her nerves for what is

going to be a long night of what she wasn't sure.

She noticed what looked like her mother was afraid of being rejected by her. Now that she

thought about it, the last time their feelings were raw was the day of the intervention. She loved

her mother and if nothing else was talked about this night, Erica would know that.

As Bianca waited for Erica to come back with the tea, she thought about what if anything she

would tell her mother about her sister Kendall. Kendall was in her untouchable stage, and had

been since the intervention. She loved her sister very much and she was hurting. Kendall being

Kendall was her own worst enemy right now. The facts regarding her conception were brutal

before the intervention but now "how am I what am I going to say to mom".

"I made us a pot of chamomile tea, it will help relax us both, tell me how have you been".

"Well we broke ground on The Miranda Mona Montgomery Women's and Children's Center recently". "We also will be sponsoring a fund raiser, I would like it if you would come".

Erica's whole demeanor seemed to change, all of a sudden their was a gentleness to her. "You are inviting me?" She actually seemed shocked at the very thought of it. "Yes mother I want you by my side if you'll come" with that Erica smiled and hugged her daughter. "Mother let me breath" Bianca cried laughingly.

"Why don't you call your sister and have her come over?" Erica said basking in her new found happiness. And Bianca thought so close, I was hoping I could have made it out of here before the subject of Kendall came up.

"She is out for the night" Bianca figured this should cover it. " Bianca it is only 6:00 what is she out doing"? Erica asked her.

"Oh you know Kendall mother a little of this and a little of that". I know Kendall is in trouble, but do I tell mom now or wait. What would I be waiting for. Bianca thought to herself.

"Bianca I sense that there is something going on that you are not telling me". Erica stated getting worried now.

Saved by the bell, it is Opal. "I heard you were back and I just wanted to drop in on you, see how you doing".

Bianca saw this as her escape. "Ok mom I will let you talk to Opal, see you tomorrow".

"Bianca sit down", "Opal I'm sorry but its important that I talk to Bianca, can we do this another time."

"Ok honey you take care, I will call you in a couple of days then we can sit and chew the fat".

Erica hugs Opal, then she takes a moment to close the door. Suddenly, she knows she stares at Bianca.

"What is going on with your sister, and I want the truth now. Don't worry I can handle it."

Bianca thought that with all her mother had gone through she didn't want to be the one to tell her about her sister. Thank you Kendall for putting me is this spot.

At the intervention, mom released all of the secrets she was holding inside for her own good. None of us knew what was haunting mom or the effect it would have on Kendall. Kendall's already damaged psyche was dealt another hit. How bad we were being to find out.

Only mom can help Kendall, but telling her that is another story. "Mother Kendall is fine there is nothing wrong".

"Tell me about her, how has she been since the intervention". Straight to the point that's my mother.

"She is fine mom Kendall always lands on her feet," Just then Bianca's cell phone starts ringing

"excuse me mom I have to take this". The phone call worried her with any luck it didn't show on her face "I have to go mom".

"Before you walk out that door was that phone call about your sister". Ok she knows, mom could always tell when something was wrong.

Hearing Erica refer to Kendall as her daughter and meaning it now shocked Bianca "No mom it wasn't". Bianca hated lying to her mother, since that is what started all the hurt and pain before. But was she strong enough to deal with the truth? Well I will have to deal with that after I get Kendall.

Outside the Penthouse door Bianca is on the phone to someone "Can you please go get Kendall and see that she gets home safely, thanks its time my mother knows".

Bianca enters Erica's "honey I thought that you had someplace to go".

"I did mom, but I called in a favor. We need to talk".


	2. WHAT MOM CAN HEAR

**WHAT CAN MOM HEAR**

"Bianca you're scaring me now, is something wrong". Erica sensed something every time she brought up Kendall's name Bianca changed the subject.

"Its Kendall mom, she's in trouble. I can't help her, she wont even listen to me."

"Just tell me Bianca" the panic was beginning to set in she couldn't wait much longer.

"Mother I debated on whether to tell you or not. After what happened when Kendall and I kept my pregnancy from you, well I had to tell you. I also didn't know if you were strong enough, but I don't have a choice now."

"After the intervention what we all learned about that night, Kendall left. She was gone for days, we didn't know where she was, or how to reach her, or if she was coming back."

Erica was watching the expressions on Bianca face as she was telling the story. Her words were carefully chosen so as not to upset her mother. It never dawned on her what her eldest daughter would feel upon hearing the newest revelation.

"When she finally did show up she was different. I can't put my finger on it but something changed. Kendall struggles with being a child of rape everyday of her life, but this was much more harder. She has been doing things that are way over the top even for Kendall."

Bianca was afraid of telling her mother to much, but she had to know. She was just afraid of the fallout if any, but this was something only Erica could take care of. Now before Kendall was lost to them for good.

"Mom Kendall is on anti-depressants, we think she had a breakdown. She is not the same Kendall as before you left, she is a loner now as in alone. In Kendall's mind now she is even more despicable, she said 'now I know why Erica hated me so much'. To make matters worse she drinks on top of taking the pills. She said that everyone was right the evilness that conceived her does not warrant her being loved."

"Its like she is inviting death. She is not as strong as she was, she is in a downward spiral. Not wanting any help, she really doesn't feel worth it now."

Bianca couldn't stop she was on a roll Erica had to know everything, let the chips fall where they may. Kendall had to be saved it was her turn to protect her sister.

The tears were in a steady flow down Erica's cheeks "oh my god, oh my god what have I done. If things had been different I never would have wanted Kendall to find out like that. I will not let my daughter suffer more at the hands of Eric Kane and Richard Fields."

"Bianca tell me everything that has been going on with you sister since I left, and make it the truth no sugar coating. If I am going to help your sister I need to know everything.

That night was one of the longest ones she shared with her mother in over a year, to bad it was not just innocent chitter chatter. This night they came up with a plan that Erica hoped would win over her oldest daughter. She had to find a way to reason with Kendall, to let her know how much she loved her.

Even though she told Kendall she no longer saw Richard Fields, Kendall needed to have Erica around to reassure her. She would, she would do whatever was possible until Kendall was secure about her place in Erica's heart and life.


	3. MOM TO THE RESCUE

**MOM TO THE RESCUE**

"I'm back Bianca, and I will take care of your sister leave it to me. You were right only I can help Kendall now, for this Kendall needs her mother."

"Bianca did I ever tell you how proud I am of you. Kendall is lucky to have you for a sister".

Bianca look at Erica in amazement, and here she thought she had to be treated with kid gloves. I had forgotten that my mother was one of the strongest women I know, she laughed silly me.

But it wasn't going to be easy, Kendall was a very stubborn person. Even more so now that she felt unworthy.

"No mom I am the lucky one".

Erica smiled, "well actually I am the lucky one, I have 2 wonderful daughters. Tomorrow I will set about trying to help your sister, and convince her of that till then lets get some sleep".

"Didn't you tell Uncle Jack that you would spend the day with him".

"Oh yes he will understand knowing how important this is. Did your Uncle try with Kendall?"

"Yes but she shut him down so fast it made his head spin, so you are right he will understand . May not be happy, but he will understand."

"Bianca has Ryan been helping with Kendall?"

"No mom he hasn't, and its better that way some of Kendall's more destructive moves have been against Ryan. Mom she slept with his brother. She's changed and not for the better, I am only afraid that it is eating her up

Sleep wasn't going to come easy, and she knew it. How was she going to help her daughter. Okay I now know what happened, but am I really strong enough to save my child Erica wondered.

I love Kendall now more than I ever thought I could, so where does that leave me. Kendall needs me to be her mother, and I think I can be that now. But since she came into my life I have done nothing but remind her that she was a child of rape, and only related to me by a crime. This new information has just helped to further crush her self esteem.

Morning came surprisingly early today Bianca thought, probably because her and her mother were up way into the night discussing Kendall. Today will not be a good day, for someone she thought.

"Good morning sleepy head, I thought you were going to sleep the day away. Well there is coffee and some muffins. I am off to wage war with your sister. I doubt she will be to happy to see me."

"Why so early mom, Kendall probably isn't even up."

"That's' the idea, I don't want Kendall to have a chance to run. This way she is caught off guard and has to deal with me."

"She may not let you in." In fact I know she wont let you in thought Bianca.

"Not to worry I still have my key. Ms Hart is in for a very rude awakening."

"Good Luck mom, I am here if you need me."

"Love you."


	4. A CHILD'S PAIN

**A CHILD'S PAIN**

As Erica stood outside of Kendall's door, she wondered just how her daughter would accept her. From what Bianca had told her this was not going to be easy. Oh well here goes nothing Erica said as she knocked on Kendall's door. No answer, that was a good sign Kendall was still asleep. So she used her key. She figured that if Kendall didn't know that Bianca had filled her in, they might get off to a better start.

Well time to put on a pot of tea hopefully the smell of peppermint will arouse sleeping beauty. Erica was actually afraid of facing Kendall, she didn't want to fight she just wanted to help. But if she was as distant as Bianca said all of a sudden Erica's face showed the weight of the world she was scared. Can I really save my child she wondered. Erica let her eyes wander to the picture of Mona, mom I need your help I don't think I am strong enough yet.

A half hour had passed and Kendall was still not up, Erica decided to check on her daughter, just to be sure. What Erica saw when she entered Kendall's room rocked her to the core.

The room was trashed and Kendall was half naked lying in a pool of her own blood and vomit. Between what she saw and the stench Erica herself almost hurled.

She couldn't get to Kendall fast enough, she kicked off her heels as she went to her daughter's side. "Kendall, Kendall talk to me. Oh please God let her be alive. Wake up Kendall I'm here."

"Erica Kane" was all that she could managed before Kendall passed out again.

"Don't you fade out on me girl. Kendall where are you hurt, tell me what is all this blood from?"

Erica examined Kendall like she was an exquisite piece of jewelry trying to make sure that the bleeding wasn't serious, "thank God" she said when she realized that the blood was from her hand. Seeing the broken glass around she just put 2 and 2 together.

Kendall wake up, come lets get you into the shower. Good thing she was passed out halfway in the bathroom because it was going to be hard enough getting her into the shower. Erica finally got Kendall into the shower, for the next 15 or 20 minutes all you could hear was Kendall screaming.

The screaming had stopped, the water had stopped out came Erica looking very tired and Kendall looking very wet. Erica led Kendall to a chair so she could find a bathrobe and a towel for her in all this mess. As Erica dried Kendall's hair she noticed how eerily quiet she was.

"Kendall are you alright, Kendall I'm talking to you." Erica turned Kendall's face up towards her, she had the look of a defeated person. She did not look anything like her strong and defiant daughter.

"Honey please talk to me, let me help you." Kendall had a sad yet vacant look on her face, what happened to her last night Erica wondered she had to get Kendall talking.

"Kendall honey its mom, talk to me let me help you." Erica was getting worried other than "Erica Kane" Kendall hadn't spoken another word.

Erica thought maybe she should try something different so she led Kendall to the couch.

"Sit down sweetheart let me finish drying your hair. It's ok Kendall your mother is here".

"Its time you let me take care of you for a change, here lay your head down in my lap".

Erica thought ok we are making some progress albeit small, I wonder if she will tell me what has been going on.

"I have missed you Kendall" Erica said hoping for a reply. "Tell me how have you been doing".

"Is everything alright" she was getting no response from Kendall who was just motionless.

Why did I think I could fix things Erica thought I am getting nowhere. She noticed that Kendall's hand was still bleeding. "Kendall I need to take care of that hand, where is the first aid kit".

"Honey you need to snap out of it you have to let me help you." Erica was hoping that she would respond but Kendall stayed quiet.

"I found it Kendall, now let me look at that hand".

"Tell me just why do you want to take care of me, Erica". Kendall said glaring at her.

Well ok she is back to her old self thought Erica, so now the drama begins.

"Kendall I am your mother, and I think you need my help. Tell me what has been going on."

"No Erica I do not need your help. I am fine now would you please leave. I should have known that Bianca would fill you in." Kendall said defiantly. She didn't need Erica before and she sure didn't need her now.

"I was coming to see you whether or not Bianca told me you were in trouble".

"Kendall I am not leaving until we talk about everything that happened. I left town right after the well you know and we didn't have a chance to discuss what you heard."

"The intervention moth... , Erica it is called an intervention". Kendall yelled almost startling herself with how loud it was.

"Ok the intervention, Kendall that day I learn some horrible things which I had kept bottled up so that I wouldn't have to feel the pain. Yes it was hard for me to remember all of it, but honey this doesn't change how I feel about you."

"Kendall I told you I loved you and I meant it, I love you Kendall." Kendall got up and went to the door. "It is time for you to leave" she said as she was opening it.

Erica just sat there with her mouth open "what do you mean leave Kendall we need to talk".

"Either you leave or I do but the conversation is over". Erica picked up her purse "ok honey I will leave for now, but we will talk. Kendall, I do love you.


	5. JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

**JUST KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU**

Well Erica thought I will give her this round, but if Kendall thinks I can be shut down that easy then she is in for a big surprise. She had to save Kendall from herself, she knew how self destructive her oldest daughter could be.

Leave it to Bianca to think that I needed saving. Don't they know who I am . I am the Queen bitch and here I am in all my glory. I don't need anyone. Doesn't Erica know that I poison everything and everyone I touch. Kendall sighed then slumped down in a heap and began to cry. I love you too mom, I just can't hurt you anymore.

By the time Erica got back to the penthouse Bianca was gone. I think I'll call Jackson maybe he can fill me in on what has been going on with Kendall.

"Jack, hi its me Erica can you come over we need to talk. Sorry though it wont be about us. I need to know what happened to Kendall."

Come in Jack, please sit down. "Can you tell me what has been happening with my daughter Kendall, I went to see her this morning and things did not go well".

"Jackson she was in bad shape, I am scared for her."

"Well in Kendall eyes she now sees what she always felt, about being unlovable because of the rape."

"I love her Jack and I tried to tell her more than once." Erica thought back to earlier how Kendall refused to believe or even want to hear her mother say I love you.

"One thing I did find out though I think she is leaving Pine Valley, I have been having her watched" Jackson would not reveal all he had found out, because it would hurt Erica.

"You know when you told Kendall you only saw her, she doesn't think that is true."

"After hearing about what your father and Richard Fields did to you, she believes that for you to see her around all the time would just cause you pain. Erica she thinks that deep down you couldn't possibly love her."

"Bianca and I spent days trying to convince her that she was wrong, that is when she started getting self destructive."

Erica thought that Jackson looked as if he failed her, he didn't . She failed her daughter, any blame in this situation was hers.

"Do you know when she is scheduled to leave"? She would do whatever it took to reach her first born. Without even realizing when it happened Erica felt fiercely protective of Kendall. A feeling that up until now she had never experienced, it felt wonderful.

"In 2 days she is booked on a plane to London. If you plan on stopping her you better work fast." Knowing Erica now, she would move heaven and earth to keep Kendall from leaving.


	6. THE BEST FOR EVERYONE

**THE BEST FOR EVERYONE**

Whether my mother knows it or not I am doing this for her, thought Kendall.

Dear Erica,

I didn't want to leave without saying good-bye. I am not trying to hurt you by leaving, quite the opposite. Your life has been filled with so much ugliness, mostly in part due to my very existence. For that I am sorry. I can no longer put you through that on a daily basis. I wish that ugliness never happened to you even if it means that I never would have been born. Know this from here on I will never celebrate my birth, for I can not celebrate your pain. I won't tell you that I will keep in touch, but I will always make sure everything is ok. There is another envelope addressed to Bianca please see that she gets it.

Mother I do love you.

With all of her loose ends tied up sooner than she thought Kendall said I might as well leave earlier, if I can get a flight. She would miss her family, Bianca whose love helped make her a better person and her mother who she really did love. But it was better this way. Why was it so hard for her to believe then.

Kendall finished her packing and set her bags by the door. Just then the doorbell rang, it was Bianca.

Kendall opened the door just enough to peek out of, she didn't want Bianca to find out she was leaving. "Bianca, What brings you over"?

"Well aren't you going to invite me in Kendall"?

"Actually the place is a mess so how about another day"

"No now" and with that Bianca pushed her way in. "Going somewhere Kendall"?

"As a matter of fact I was, business for Fusion."

"Really" Bianca said as she looked around the room. On the table were 2 letters one addressed to her and the other to their mother.

"What is this Kendall?" she asked holding the 2 letters.

Kendall tried reaching for them but Bianca was quicker. "I was just leaving you guys notes as to where I would be staying."

"So you won't mind if I read mine then", asked Bianca.

She was not going to wait for an answer and tore open the envelope. It only took a couple of minutes to read the note, but it seemed like forever. Kendall now knew that leaving was not going to be easy.

"Kendall you can't be serious, you can't leave." What about me, what about mom." Bianca was not going to let her sister leave, not if she could help it. "Why are you doing this we need you now."

"You don't need me, remember I am the product of sick people" "If I thought my life was bad before just being a child of rape, Bianca you can't imagine how I feel now."

"I have to get away from all of you, I can't drag you down. Not to mention I refuse to hurt mom anymore." Kendall was crying again it was getting to be a habit, one she better kick.

"Don't you think Mom should be the one to decide what is best for her?" Bianca could see that she was serious about leaving.

"No I don't, not in this case anyway. She would have me stay no matter how upset it got her just so that I wouldn't think she didn't love me. Bianca I know she does that is why I am leaving, it shouldn't have to hurt her to love me."

"Can I trust you not to tell mom".

"Actually Kendall I won't tell mom but if she asks then all bets are off." Bianca hugged her sister then left. No Kendall I won't tell mom, but I will give her your letter. Bianca rushed back to the penthouse.

"Mom, Mom" Erica and Jackson were sitting trying to work out a plan for dealing with Kendall when Bianca came charging in.

"Kendall is leaving today, here read this she doesn't realize I took it." Erica took the letter and went over to the window to read it.

"Uncle Jack, Kendall is so sad it is unbearable. She actually thinks that we would hold her birth against her now that we know everything."

"Its like her spirit is broken, she is pathetic and you know that is not Kendall"

"Jack I have to stop her" Erica crying said handing him the letter. "Please check and make sure she did not leave yet. Call me on my cell I am going to Kendall's to try and stop her."

"You want me to come mom"

"No Bianca this is something that I have to handle alone".

Kendall had a couple of hours before she had to go to the airport, so she poured herself a glass of wine. This past year was like being on a roller coaster, in 12 mere months so much happened. She had grown, she no longer just thought of herself. She might not be able to trust everyone but with Bianca she knew she could trust at least one. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts , that she didn't notice when Erica came in.

"Kendall" Erica spoke the name so softly so as not to startled her daughter. But never the less she was flustered.

"Erica I thought we concluded our business earlier."

"Kendall I read the letter." Erica was talking very softly so softly she could barely be heard which was the effect she was going for. This meant the Kendall had to listen and not talk.

"I know what you think you mean to me, now let me tell you what you mean to me."

"Yes the details surrounding your conception were horrific, I shielded myself by keeping everything in the dark. When you first found me the darkness was getting small cracks of light in it. Over the past few years more and more light was getting in."

"The night of the storm a huge chunk of light broke in, yes there was darkness but it was getting lighter. The closer we got as mother and daughter the more light it became. After the intervention all the darkness was gone. Do you know why?"

Kendall shook her head no.

"It was you. You Kendall brought in the light. I needed you in my life but I never realized it. You the light covered the darkness."

"Kendall you are the proof that out of the dark can come light. Something bad can bring about something good."

"Kendall you are my good." From this day on we will honor your birthday, so that we can celebrate you life. You are my daughter and I love you, please don't leave. I will help you get over whatever demons that haunt you. I mean what are mothers for if not to help their children."

Kendall was in tears how did she get so lucky.

"Mom tell me I wont be hurting you if I stay, I couldn't stand it if I did. I've done so many horrible things since you've been gone, you may not want me around." "No one else does."

"It doesn't matter besides they aren't your mother" with that she put her arms around Kendall and hugged her as if her life depended on it.

"I've lost to much time with you so any problems there are we will face them together." "I love you Kendall always remember that, no matter what you will always have my love." "I love you too mom"

They were holding each other crying when Bianca found them. This was what Kendall had needed and wanted all of her life. Erica's love and acceptance. Now she had the family that she had always dreamed of .

Whoever said you were never to old to dream was right, I finally have my dream. Kendall thought.

The Kane family was on its way to being whole.


End file.
